Aging Gracefully with Wisdom
I instantly fell in love with this card that my manager gave to me for Christmas one year. (The same manager to whom I gave the “There is Order in Chaos” peaching.) I was still in my 30s but knew that this is how I wanted to age. To be one with the earth and animals, confident and wise with beautiful white hair. Perhaps it was the influence of all of the elderly ladies in the temple I grew up with as a child. Their calm, graceful, generous hearts created a peaceful haven in a giant loud unknown world. To me, that was beauty and harmony.
On youth vs wisdom. In the West, and especially in today’s world of technology and information (aka “knowledge”) at your fingertips, adults are viewed as “so yesterday” and looked down upon. Look at all of the commercials. So many of them have little kids “teaching” or even berating their parents for not doing things “right.” We don’t teach our youth to respect the elderly. In fact, quite the opposite, so now the youth are demanding respect because they’ve been told they “deserve” it and everything else in the world. Eastern philosophy comes from Confucian influences where wisdom does not equate to knowledge but is a result of learnings from accumulated experiences. And respect is something that can only be earned. Thus, the older you are, the greater your merit; eldest go first, youngest last, which teaches them patience. Yet even there, the focus on youth and the speed in which the world now runs, makes it difficult for older adults to keep up. Combine that with the mass technology and availability of not just beauty products, but surgeries and Botox allowing you to choose to look young, and now no one wants to look or be old. How sad this is.
On perspectives. Although my favorite time was watching my kids while they were awake and playing, I also loved watching them sleep. How peaceful and beautiful they were. One time I was looking at them sleeping, I thought how beautiful they were naturally; they didn’t need makeup, shaping eyebrows or anything. I never wore makeup much, and when I did put some on, my younger son would frown and tell me to take it off because “it looks funny.” It is intriguing, the honesty and perspective of innocent children; so different from a society full of envy, lust, and ego. Since then, I pretty much stopped wearing makeup altogether. I was beautiful just the way I was in the eyes of my children, and husband. How grateful is that?
On physical beauty. It was after the actress (I thought to be the most confident and beautiful woman in the world) got divorced by her husband that I knew for sure that looks are not everything. It doesn’t matter if you have the perfect face, body, or build, people will still leave you for whatever reason. I also found out that while I was envious of my younger sister for being fair-skinned back in high-school, she was envious of me being tan. (I literally get a visible tan line within 5 minutes of being in the summer sun.) Looking at trends in society, those with dark hair bleach and dye their hair to be lighter. Those with lighter tones dye their hair to be dark. In Eastern countries like Japan and India, so many beauty products try to make your skin lighter, while in Europe and America people pay for tanning beds and sprays. I’ve tried my whole life to tame my hair so it’s straight and flatter. Yet so many products and commercials I see are all for “more volume!" What is wrong with our world? Why do we always see beauty as something the opposite of what we are? It seems everyone is chasing the bone reflected in the water. When I observed all of this objectively, I realized all we need to do is appreciate the beauty we already have (or move to the country that cherishes it).
It was difficult to find a good quote about aging gracefully, as many of the quotes tend to be sarcastic. And eastern quotes are mostly by men. I so I was ecstatic to find this one by my mother’s favorite actress, and another.
“True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows; the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows.” - Audrey Hepburn
“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” Eleanor Roosevelt
With each passing year, may the beauty of your heart shine brighter through your smile and the gleam of wisdom in your eyes.